Three days after Christmas, we go to PetSmart at Delta Shores in south Sacramento to pick up supplies for the animals. In the parking lot, a Tesla BLARES Christmas music. An older gray-haired fellow whose countenance resembles Quint from the film "Jaws" records the event with his phone.
We watched for a moment while the great white's headlights flashed in time with the music (see embedded video from another Tesla fan, minute 5). As the song progressed, the windows and trunk started opening and closing with the tune. A few other people stop to record the event. While this is going on, Stephan jokes, "That's a horrible car alarm."
Finally, the song finishes and the car stops flexing. Quint notices me. Like a shark, he circles over to begin a conversation. He's the car's owner.
Knowing that I am the flame that attracts all the world's kooks, Stephan and Fabienne quickly make their getaway into the store. I'm used to it. So I wait to see what this is all about.
I introduce myself, wearing a mask, with Stephan's joke. "That's one heck of a car alarm!"
Not amused, he says, "That's not the car alarm." I guess he didn't see me smile.
He began to Teslasplain the technology involved. "Yada yada yada downloads, yada yada yada Canada, yada yada yada 2021, yada yada yada 30,000 miles, etc." In my head, I'm asking him, "Does it do meatloaf?" To which he’d reply by playing “Bat Out of Hell” or some such tune out of the car’s tires.
In the end, we parted on good terms, probably because I didn't confuse him with my thoughts about his car being a toaster oven and probably because I didn't iPhonesplain that the best car-porn videos are shot horizontally.
Happy New Year!